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‘The Least Surprising Story I Have Ever Heard’
Stephen Colbert on Monday was eager to dig into Anderson Cooper’s “60 Minutes” interview with Stephanie Clifford, the former pornographic film actress known as Stormy Daniels. Colbert was thrilled to hear Clifford’s account of her alleged affair with President Trump — but even the juiciest details didn’t shock him.
“The interview covered everything: The president had sex with a porn star, she spanked him with a magazine with his face on it, he didn’t wear a condom, later they watched ‘Shark Week,’ then his lawyer paid her to keep her mouth shut, and now Trump’s suing this porn star for $20 million. It’s an insane, salacious tale about a sitting president — and the least surprising story I have ever heard.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It all felt real, it all felt true. That felt truer than him getting elected.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
At one point in the interview, Clifford described turning the tables on Trump. Early in their first romantic encounter, she said, she suggested the president should stop talking about himself as much, and spanked him with a magazine featuring his photograph. After that, she said, Trump opened up to her, and started acting “more appropriate.”
“Hmm, a couple of spanks and Donald Trump started acting more appropriate. John Kelly, you know what to do.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
Trevor Noah had his own thought about who might have been watching.
“You know Bob Mueller is watching this interview, right? You know that. Now he’s going to walk into the interrogation room with a rolled-up magazine, like, ‘O.K., Donald, time to talk about Russia.’” — TREVOR NOAH
Here’s Colbert on the moment when, according to Clifford, Trump told her that she reminded him of his daughter Ivanka.
“Wow, that is awkward. But not nearly as awkward as when he said to Ivanka, ‘Honey, you remind me of this porn star I had sex with.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
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